I guess I'll start from the time I found out I was pregnant. It was totally unexpected for Shaf and me. (Shafie is my wonderful hubby). We'd been married for about 9 months. We hadn't been actively trying although I guess I was subconsciously aching for a baby for some time. I felt so lucky... and just really grateful.. I remember those few days- I was on a high ... just elated... and abit emotional. I couldn't help but wonder what this might mean in the greater scheme of things....Was God giving me a second chance to make things right? Does He think I can be a good mother and that's why He's granting me this child? Silly to think so ... babies are born to the worst of mothers too, silly... ooohh can I handle it? Am I really going to be responsible for raising a child? Me?
Of course, from a Muslim's point of view, children are entrusted to us by God. It is the Muslim's duty to fulfil this trust (or amanah) by bringing the child up to be righteous Kalifah (or vicegerent) of Allah. Would I be able to do this? I remember making du'a to Allah sincerely to make things right with this baby...to make this a new start for me, to make amends, to be abetter person....and also for this baby to be a good servant of Allah and for the baby to be protected from syaitan by Allah.
Some might argue that bringing a human being into the world in such a tumultuous time in history is simply foolish.. Yet as human beings we are compelled to procreate...an innate desire to have babies and perpetuate our lineage.. and by so doing, we play our part in God's plan and "assist" in the continuation of the human race, until of course, The End.
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